Sorry I haven't had time to update for a while. Austin and I are in the middle of desperately searching for a new place to live. We have to be out in about two weeks, and we don't have anywhere to go yet. We've been looking at a few places. We hope to have a contract in the next couple of days. On top of that I'm trying to finish up my last two weeks of class, finish tests for my job interview, and everything else I normally have to do. Like trying to remain sane.


Tagged pt 2

I forgot to tag other people. Well, since Cheryl already tagged most ppl that I know that have blogs...I tag Lynette, Heidi, Seth, Austin (whom I will force to make a blog), and Justin.

Frankie Says Relax

On Saturday my husband did the most absolutely amazing thing for me: He made an appointment for me to get a massage. It was my first ever professional massage. I was nervous, but I was brave and stripped completely. It was absolutely incredible. It felt so amazing. I can't believe the hour went by so fast. Thank you honey! I really needed it because I had been having extreme neck and shoulder pain and on Saturday it got much better. Since then, it has once again worsened. But I'm still so appreciate of my honey who loves me.



The Rules: Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. Players should tag a few other people and notify them they have been tagged.

Cheryl has tagged me, so here it is:

1. I like to call myself the "walking contradiction." This is because my personality is very contradictory. Case in point: I can't stand my house being messy, but I'm too lazy to pick up on a regular basis. I can let it get dirty to a certain point and then I have to completely sterilize it top to bottom, a process that takes several hours for my 850 square foot apt. I'm also a perfectionist, but I've learned over the years I couldn't handle the stress of being a perfectionist and so now have almost gone to the other extreme. I also love to be extremely organized and I get very upset when things aren't, but at the same time junk piles up around me until again I can't stand it and must organize, label, and arrange.

2. I'm a very smart person but my mouth doesn't work as fast as my brain. I think I have some sort of verbal dyslexia. Things come out backward when I talk. I say things like "I need to check my cash" instead of "cash my check." I write numbers and words down backwards and sometimes the strangest incomplete thoughts come out of my head. Also, I swear that I'm saying one thing, but it turns out that I actually said something different. It's a very weird feeling.

3. I also have my OCD tendencies. A few know of my one concerning cups. I must rinse out my cup, though I know it's clean, at least twice before using it. I've gotten better about this. I used to have to rinse it four times before I considered it clean. This all started when my brother Tyler told me a story of getting diarrhea from drinking soapy water. I also have an OCD about germs to some extent. My hands must be clean, and I wash them several times a day. When I'm cleaning my house or cooking, I wash them dozens of times. Of course here comes another contradiction: I bite my nails and am constantly touching my eyes and face and it doesn't bother me.

4. I am a paranoid, worrying type of person. I ask Austin every night before bed if he locked the door even if I saw him do it. I worry about things that I say to people and mull over things wondering if I hurt their feelings, if I said something inappropriate. I worry so much sometimes I can't stop thinking and thus can't sleep. I worry about decisions I make and whether or not I made the right one. I worry about things people said to me and wonder what they meant by it or is this person or that person upset at me. I also worry about people's feelings. This can be a good thing because I try to be sensitive, but it's bad because I worry about it way more than I should. I spend way more time than I should thinking about things that don't matter.

5. I love popping zits. Austin can painfully vouch for this. I get some perverse type of pleasure out of it. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't stop.

6. I don't have one talent that I'm amazing at. I'm mediocre at a lot of different things. I'm mediocre at guitar, piano, writing, drawing, and singing. And I'm okay with that. It used to bug me that I wasn't great at anything until I realized one day that most people are usually only really good at one thing. I decided I was happy being able to do many different things at a mediocre level then be great at any one of them.

7. I am extremely claustrophobic, well, more than the average person really. And I totally FREAK OUT whenever I feel trapped. I've been known to have panic and anxiety attacks only I didn't realize what they were until later. Because of this I tend to avoid stress, conflict, and confrontation. I also avoid them because I tend to be an extremely emotional person who can totally and completely snap. I worry that I might go crazy someday. Fortunately, I have a loving and supporting husband who keeps me happy, stable, and balanced. It is for this reason, among others, that I knew that I picked the right person for me.

8. I freaking hate clowns. They scare the crap out of me. I think they're wrong and they're not funny at all. They should be banned. I also hate Frank Lloyd Wright, Duchamp, Emily Dickinson, tapping noises, Paris Hilton, people who tell me to eat carrots, shushers, people who get my eye color wrong, self-righteous (Nazi Mormons), judgmental, close-minded, and fake people.


Shaken Up

I could've killed a child today. I'm not talking about my nephews who were actually much better behaved today. On my way home from Tyler & Cheryl's house, two kids ran out into the middle of the road while I was in the middle of making a turn. I slammed on my brakes. I didn't know whether or not I had hit them. The kids were fortunately not hurt. I don't think I had hit them after all. It made me realize the difficulties of seeing children from a car. It also made me realize that this is something I would break my no-spank rule for. The danger is immense for kids that run out into the street. Cars sometimes do not have time to react. I'm really glad that I saw them in time.

On a lighter note, the kids were well behaved today. I had a lot of fun with them. We did the Hokey Pokey, went to the park, did exercises, started making an "All About Me" book, and had storytime. I have successfully reached the end of my first week with the boys. It's been good. It's been harder in some ways than I anticipated, but easier in others. I look forward to the start of my second week with them. I'm proud to say that they've learned about 12 signs in their first week. I'm impressed with Tyson. He has an amazing memory. And Mason is so enthusiastic. Preston is so much fun as well. I'm enjoying getting to know the boys better. I really feel like this is a good "mommying" experience. I now have a small grasp of the difficulty, but at the same time I feel even more prepared and confident that I am ready to have children of my own. Just not for the next little while.


Is This What Being a Mom Is Like?

I gotta admit it. Today was rough. Three children constantly asking for my attention and asking me to help and fix them with everything all at the same time. Crazy. It's a really good thing I was blessed with a lot of patience. Though that patience was tried today. Of course, I still remained in control. It's hard cuz the kids expect me to be able to do everything, which of course isn't possible. I can only do my best, which is what I did.

On an unrelated note, it finally rained giving scorched Utah some much-needed moisture and a brief relief from the unrelenting heat. Of course, it's going to be hot again tomorrow. Good thing I finally bought some comfy long shorts for me to wear when I go over in the mornings.

I really love my car. It drives so nicely and it's SO NICE to finally be in charge of my destinations again.


Sweating in My Garments

It's so hot outside. You'd think now that I have a car, I wouldn't walk anywhere anymore. But that is not the case. I choose, deliberately, to walk home from school at three in the afternoon. By the time I get home, I'm a sweaty mess. Just another reason to NOT wear makeup. Thus the clothes get thrown off so I can cool off in the comfort of my dark apartment where the sun, mercifully, does not shine. Did I ever say that I love summer? Well, I do, just not between the hours of noon and five. If I had a full-time job, this wouldn't be a problem, but since I'm still the college student I find myself out and about during the scorching hours. Speaking of scorching, when oh when will it rain? I really need my summer rain. Not only does it cool the temperature, it is so fun to run about getting completely soaked head to toe. This only applies to summer rain. Other seasons need not apply.

It's hump day in my first week as Tyson, Preston, and Mason's nanny. I think I'm doing all right. The kids seem to be having fun, which is good. I am worried about running out of ideas though. Tyson is the hardest to please in regards to activities because he always wants something new. I'm still waiting for Heather to email her ideas so I can start planning new activities.

The boys are so cute. Each really does have his own unique personality. Don't tell the boys, but I secretly like when they dogpile on Aunt Tracie. Despite the squashed feeling, I feel a lot of love for the boys. I love how excited they are when I come over and how sad they are when I leave. It makes me feel like a special person in their lives. Hopefully by the end of the summer I can get them to never mix me up with Aunt HayLee again. At least when I'm over there, they correctly call me Tracie 95% of the time.


Day One

I successfully survived my first day as nanny. Tyler & Cheryl's kids sure are a handful, but you've got to love 'em. I probably wouldn't be quite as exhausted if I managed to get some sleep tonight. Hopeful my exhaustion helps me to get some sleep tonight.

We had fun today. I took the kids to the park and we pretended the playground was a boat exploring Africa & Antarctica. It was fun, but extremely hot. The kids colored and Tyson made me a butterfly hair clip out of construction paper. So cute. I made the kids breakfast & lunch and I read them Austin's favorite childhood story, "Liza Lou."

Amazingly none of the kids killed each other under my care. Boys can be so rough, especially when there's three of them and they all want your attention at the same time. It was cute how they were fighting for my attention. Of course, we'll see once the novelty of Aunt Tracie coming over today affects their enthusiasm.

Bottom line: I survived, they survived, and a good time was had by all.


Reflections on Buying a Car

So, I FINALLY have my car. Sheesh. What a process. I'm really excited to once again be the owner of a car. No more being carted around! No more begging for rides! FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOM! (said in William Wallace voice) I haven't driven that much yet. But I love driving it. It is so choice. (Ten bucks if anybody besides Heidi or Austin knows that quote.) So, I was thinking I should start writing again. I mean, I used to write in my lj (livejournal) all the time before dating Austin. Now I never write. And it's not like I really don't have the time. I really do. And let's face it. I can type amazingly fast. Like a tiger.

So back to the car. I bought a 2002 Mitshibushi Lancer. It's shiny and blue and doesn't rain on the inside. I have yet to name it. Those who want to name it, feel free to give suggestions. I will shoot them all down. (Because my ideas will always be better.)

Last Friday was my last day at BYU Broadcasting. I am sad in a way. It's the first job that I've ever had that I felt utilized my talents and was enjoyable and fun in its own way. (Not that walking around a table for 8 hours a day getting paper cuts wasn't fun.... ;) ) I will miss it. But I'm ready to move on. Plus, I would've had to quit in August anyway.

I'm excited. Tomorrow I start my first day of nannying for my nephews. I'm sure I'll have so much fun. I love those kids so much. Plus they're fun and they're sure to keep my on my toes. (which is a good thing since I need the exercise.) Not to mention it'll be good mommy practice for when I have my baby later this year. Haha. Just kidding. Did I get you? Well, it will be good practice anyway.

Well, I'm hungry and for those that know me even remotely well, I don't function very well without food. So let's go make dinner. I shall write again.