Tracie's Journal #2

Today's post, again randomly selected, is from my sophomore year of high school. This one doesn't really have deep significance, as you will soon see: (originally spelling and punctuation preserved)

Journal #18 10/19/99

"You drive me crazy---up all night."

Uggh! I feel so freakin' ugly today. I look it too. (Double Uggh!) I am TI-RED! Ooo Baby. Chemistry is the evil villain that is going to stop me from getting a scholarship. There is no way I can get an A. I'm beggin' for a B+. (or higher with a lot of hope) Why in the world did I take Honors Chemistry? I don't understand chemistry in the least. The highest I've managed to get on a test is a B+. 'Nuff 'bout chemistry. I feel loopy today. I'm not normal. I want to go galloping through the meadows garden. And froliking through fields, walking by the way, leaping over the land, jumping over the jalopies, and other stuff like that. Except I can't because I'm in class and I am WAY SORE from yesterday. I played hard-core in P.E. and I didn't stretch out so now every muscle in my body hurts when I move.

I am a pretty princess soaring through the air. I have brown hair. That I'd like to tear. (tares are bad, they make me sad, I am glad when they separate the tares from the wheat because tares are poison) I have a wand, that I wave, in a band with my hand while laughing and leaping over the land.

Ignore the last paragraph it's just Tracie's disease inflicting me to be weird in as many ways as I can.

Fly me to the moon and back. See what I'm talking about? I need help and I need it soon. My eyes are killing me (We should put them in jail, Ah, Ha Ha HaHa.) No, I mean they're burning and they physically hurt.

La La La Let's take up space


Tracie L M [editor's note: The journal contained my full name, but I've removed last names from my blog for privacy's sake.]
Tracie M
Tracie L M

My words of wisdom are no longer valid.

Now I have to have commentary because Austin said it doesn't count as blogging if I don't write original words. First, the quote. I am quoting Brittnee Spears' song "(You Drive Me) Crazy." It was a popular song at the time. I still rather like it. Heidi and I choreographed a step aerobic routine for it. I don't remember when exactly. Some time in high school.

I start off with self-scrutiny and hatred. I had an extremely bad body image in high school. And again with the chemistry hatred. I told you that was a constant theme in my writing. I was worried about scholarships. I did end up getting a half tuition scholarship to BYU. But that was only for my first year. Probably because I did not get high enough grades to continue the scholarship. The GPA requirements, I believe, were 3.9. And though I graduated high school with a 3.95, I did not do as well in college. (I graduated from BYU with a 3.5 GPA, which frankly, I'm pretty proud of.)
After the chemistry complaints, I go weird, which is a common thing for me. I'm kind of a weird person. I love how I crossed out meadows to write garden. My weirdness has to have alliteration, donchaknow.  I also love the whole wheat and tares thing. Dead giveaway of Mormonness.

Tracie's disease was actually a thing back then. I've forgotten about it until now. Tracie's disease was pretty much what I explained. The condition of me being Tracie, thus, me being weird.

"Fly me to the moon and back" is a lyric from a Savage Garden song. I LOVED Savage Garden in high school.

The "la la la" bit is an inside joke. I wrote it in one of my diaries when I was a preteen. I told my friends about it, and they made fun of me for it. So, every once in a while, I'd write on notes and journal entries "la la la let's take up space."

The very last line is written by Heidi. We were in the same class, and we often would switch and read each others' journals.

And there you have it. Written proof of my weirdness.

Age Game

I participated in one of those survey things on Facebook. Since FB doesn't really have the greatest long-term storage capacity, I thought I'd post it here:

Amanda Jones Goodman gave me the age of 16.

At age 16, I was

Dating: (i didn't date in high school other than to go to girls' choice dances.) One month after turning 16, I went on my first date. His name was Jake, he was a senior, and I was smitten. He treated me kindly. It was a double date for the spring fling. A friend of mine asked my older brother to be her date. I remember we went to a park to take pictures. And then I don't remember what we did. Pool? Mini golf? I just remember being nervous and so happy Jake was so nice to me. And that having my brother with me was kind of cool.

Living: with my parents in Orem

Driving: my mom's Tracker (when she let me)

Working: I was working at 5 Buck Pizza, which was my first official job. I rolled dough, answered phones, made pizza, and tried to keep pizzas from falling on the floor.

Fears: I was afraid that I'd never date or kiss a guy. And while I didn't date or kiss in high school (my first kiss was one month before i graduated, with a guy who moved out of state the very next day) and that made me sad at the time, I'm happy to report that i did eventually date and kiss several guys while in college.

Today at almost 29:

Dating: happily married to my amazing, hilarious, supportive Austin for going on 7 years. Love you!

Living: in a condo in Pleasant Grove

Driving: (when I do drive) a really crappy rundown Lancer. Looking to buy a new (to me) car this year.

Working: I've been working as an editor for WGU for 5 1/2 years, I've been a doula for 2 years, and mama to my crazy Danger Boy for 3 1/2 years. I'm hoping life gets less insane this year.

Fears: I'm afraid of not meeting my various life goals. I'm afraid Morgan will not progress. I'm afraid that life will continue to be almost more than I can bear. I'm afraid of losing friends and family. But despite my fears, I move forward as best I can.

10 Reasons I Love Bountiful Baskets

Austin and I have been participating in Bountiful Baskets, a produce co-op, for about a year now. We have loved participating in it, and here's 10 reasons why:

  1. It's affordable. It's $15 for a full basket (we split with another family, making our cost per week for the basket $7.50). The amount in the basket varies week to week, but it's still more affordable than grocery store prices.
  2. I don't have to decide upon a menu before I go grocery shopping. The produce is picked for me. I then plan my menu around that produce. This saves me a lot of time.
  3. Since our meals are planned around fruits and vegetables, we are eating more fruits and vegetables, which is healthier.
  4. We eat in season. Eating in season is better for your pocketbook and for the environment. 
  5. We eat a larger variety of fruits and vegetables. Things I have tried that I either had never tried before or would never buy on my own before Bountiful Baskets: sunchokes, persimmons, acorn squash, spaghetti squash, different varieties of apples, oranges, pears, mangoes, and melons, Brussels sprouts, butter lettuce, bok choy, water chestnuts, anaheim peppers, artichokes, pomegranates, papaya,and other fruits or vegetables I can't recall right now.
  6. It keeps me away from Walmart. Walmart has some of the cheapest prices around, but it's also a horrible organization. I like being able to avoid shopping there. 
  7. I've learned to make more things from scratch due to the add-ons. Several times a year they have an herb add-on. I get it and make pesto in bulk, as well as freeze the herbs (either plain or in butter or oil) for use throughout the year. I learned how to make freezer jam. I have made strawberry, blackberry, pear ginger, peach, plum, and strawberry kiwi freezer jam. I have been motivated to can since they sell boxes of produce for fantastic prices. I learned how to can tomatoes, spaghetti sauce, pears, peaches, pear butter, and applesauce this year. 
  8. This is related to 7. I've become a better cook. I've become better adapted at planning meals around produce and making awesome meals with everything made from scratch.
  9. I've been able to afford awesome bulk staples, like organic 100% wholegrain bread, soft white wheat berries (that I can grind myself in my blender), raw local honey, and organic olive oil.
  10. I get a surprise in my life every week. I love surprises. I love not knowing what I'm going to get each week. It makes things exciting and fresh.

    Bountiful Baskets isn't for everyone, but I foresee our family participating for a long time to come.