Several years ago Austin and I bought several kinds of gummy bears in an attempt to discover which gummy bears were the best. We rated them in different categories, and it was a lot of fun. I’ve been wanting to do something like that again. And then this weekend, the perfect opportunity presented itself. We were at Sprouts shopping, and they had a wide assortment of apples on sale for $0.88/lb. This was too good to pass up. So I went crazy and bought 14 varieties of apples. Most we only bought 1 or 2 apples, but some we bought more. (We bought 10 Ambrosia apples because they’re awesome and they’re not widely available.) I wanted this to be the ultimate apple taste test. So, today we cut up and prepared the apples. We put them on paper plates and divided them up and labeled them. In retrospect, I wish we had taken pictures of the whole process. (Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda.) We then decided on categories; we rated the apples on Overall Taste, Juiciness, Sweetness, Tartness, and Har...
I meant to post an update after Sunday's very depressing post. I'm actually doing okay. I wasn't at that moment, obvs. I was in the midst of an anxiety attack that day. Anxiety attacks suck. I have a lot on my plate right now, which leads to stress. Stress plus my genetically-prone-to anxiety-self = breakdown and anxiety attacks. I don't want people to think that I'm feeling like that all the time. I'm not. In general, I'm doing very well. I am happy and content a lot of the time. I have an awesome husband and wonderfully supportive friends. I just happen to be dealing with a lot of stress right now. Stress that will hopefully decrease come April when Austin finally, finally graduates. I just snapped on Sunday because I became overwhelmed with everything. My house was extremely messy, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at Austin. I threw things. I hide in my room like an ashamed child. I cried, I vented by writing the depressive post, and ...
I am tired. So very tired. I cannot handle the tedium of life. The inescapableness of it all. Every day. The same thing, the same drudgery, the same trying to keep to get it together. It's just too much. Too MUCH. Cannot handle it. The weight, the pressure. I have snapped. Lost it. Yelling for a cathartic release. Fear. Pressure. Too much. Too much. TOO MUCH! Cannot take it anymore. I cry because I can't do it anymore. Cannot do it. Make it stop! Give my life order. Give my life sustainability. I fail at life. I am a failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. Empty tears. Empty life. Blinking cursor. Broken. I am broken. Empty and broken. Responsible for everything and nothing. The end no periods nothing. gone. broken. help?
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