The Tracie & Austin Story -- Part One

Here is the long-awaited entry.

I thought it might be good if I put down Austin and I’s story of how the two of us became a “we.” This is not a short story, so you have been warned. This will be told entirely from my perspective. If Austin wants to tell his side of the story he’ll have to write it himself. I will be completely honest, holding nothing back (except those details I choose to.)

B.A. (Before Austin)

It is necessary to begin my story not with Austin himself, but a little bit before. Before I even knew there was an Austin Beckstrom in the world, I was in a relationship with Devon. Devon was the first guy I had dated since the disastrous conclusion of my relationship with Jonathan. (Man, I lucked out on that one. The greatest heartbreak of my life turned out to be the greatest blessing.) After Jonathan dumped me, I became utterly depressed for about a year. A little bit before Devon came into my life I had no job and no life. I wasn’t dating; I was barely existing. My life consisted of waking up, playing on the computer all day, and going to bed. I didn’t do my hair, I wore no makeup, and I lounged around in a McNeil shirt all day.

It was in this frame of mind that I met Devon. Devon was one of Jessica’s best friends. Trent started inviting me to hang out with them; He must have noticed how depressed I was. My mom kept remarking that I should date Devon, but I resisted for various reasons. Anyway, since this is about Austin and me, to make a long story short, Devon and I started dating. We really enjoyed dating each other, and I was happy for the first time in a long time. I was afraid to fall in love with him (after what happened with Jonathan), but I did. Alas, things weren’t meant to be, and Devon broke up with me. At the time it was really, really hard for me, but I agree he made the right decision. I had felt several times myself that we should break up, but I didn’t have the strength. Though I knew it was the right decision, I was shattered. I never wanted to fall in love again. I closed off my heart. And that’s when I met Austin.

First Impressions

It was summer when I began dating Devon and during my time with him I had started work at a small company in Lindon named iArchives. I started on the afternoon shift, but I changed to the evening shift when school started once again in the fall. It was October 2004 that I was dumped for the third (and last) time. It was at this time that Austin entered my life. Austin had just started working at iArchives on the afternoon shift the same time I had switched to the evening shift. There was only I and a few other girls on the evening shift, until the intruder came….

My first impression of Austin was not good. I came to work one night to find some guy sitting in MY spot and using MY computer. He was wearing large headphones. Since I’m not one to make a scene, I took another spot and silently hated the unwanted trespasser. It was bad enough that he took my spot everyday—he wasn’t even “officially” on the evening shift!—but what made it worse was the fact that he ignored us. While the girls and I chatted, the lurker would not say a word. One day, however, that all changed. a.beckstrom (his user name at work) had taken off his headphones and listened as I happily announced that I had not thought about my ex-boyfriend all day. Later, I began a conversation on art with a fellow worker. To my surprise, the stranger joined in the conversation! Austin and I talked the rest of the night about various intellectual subjects. I discovered that he was intelligent, liked to read, and was into the arts, all good things. One red flag did go up when Austin mentioned that he tended to become whatever it was that people wanted. This was a turn-off to me because it meant he was insecure and afraid to be himself. From my past I have learned how deceiving it can be when people are not themselves. I much prefer people to be true to themselves so I know that the person I like is genuine. Fakeness is truly a quality I despise. (Good thing I later taught Austin to “his own self be true.”)