Raindrops keep falling on my head, threatening to drown me, until I remember the umbrella

When it rains, it pours. That seems to be our lot in life. I’m doing much better today, but I’ve been struggling the last little while as everything seems to be going down the crapper all at the same time. Because of everything that’s been going down, I finally slipped up on my goal. As many of you know, I recently made a commitment to work out every day no matter what. And I kept that commitment for exactly SIXTY days. For sixty days in a row I did at least one thing that was considered exercise. On the low end this meant doing 20 crunches before bed. On the high end this meant doing a highly vigorous, high-intensity 40-minute workout. Most days were somewhere between those two, but I did it without fail for sixty days. Until yesterday . . . when I forgot. Two months of work out the window just like that. Gone. Good-bye woo-hoo see ya. Sigh. It’s not hard to see why I forgot. Yesterday I became completely and utterly depressed, a state I’m not fond of being in. I was optimistic when Austin lost his job; I updated his resume and sent it out to 20 companies and felt confident that all would be for the best. Things were working out just the way they needed to. Austin would find a better job and being fired was an answer to prayers. But then Austin threw out his back for a few days and injured his mouth. I don’t know why these things bothered me but I guess I started feeling like everything was going wrong and that we were unlucky.

Then Monday Austin’s car broke down and wouldn’t start so we had it towed to a shop. We thought it was going to be a $600 repair. But then it turned out that Austin’s car was much more damaged than previously believed. We learned that it was going to cost $1600 to repair. More money than we have and more money than the car would be worth to fix considering that much money could be put into a new car that wasn’t constantly and consistently being the bane of our existence. For some reason I kinda just shut down. I became angry, heartbroken, depressed, worried, stressed, and hopeless. My thoughts of optimism changed to thoughts that everything would continue to go wrong. Nothing would work out. Things would never get better. We were totally and utterly cursed. So, I just forgot about my goal. I instead ate chocolate and watched a movie with Taylor and Austin.

Fortunately, time has a way of settling things down. Though I’m still not sleeping, I woke up this morning feeling much better about things. Things are still not resolved and the problems are still there, but I know we’ll get through it because we always have in the past and because Austin and I have made a promise to each other that no matter what happens, we will make it through whatever life throws our way.

Comments

Oh, Tracie, I am so sorry. I have been there- I will be praying for you. You are such a strong woman and I have always admired your determination and optomism.
Jen said…
Tracie, if there is anyone who can understand just where you are I think I can. WE seem to have the same kind of life. Just when I think I can't handle anymore, I am proved wrong and am given something else to refine me. Hang in there. Pray, cry, go to the temple and do all the other things you and I both know will get you through it all. I will keep you both in my prayers! Do try to laugh once today!
Kris said…
Hang in there sweetie! Things will improve. You are doing all the right things. I call these times-growing periods. These times are when you are the closest to your spouse. Cling to one another, pray, and as Jen suggested, laugh and smile and say, "This too shall pass".
Heather said…
Life can be unfair sometimes. I can tell you tons of stories on my end about this.

(No car, no job, no money, a 2 year old kid, pregnant, living in the middle of no where 30 miles from town)

But then Life can't be any sweeter without anything unfair to compare it to. And I can tell you tons of stories of how life is sweet.

Things do get better, I promise. All of this prepares you for the day when kids come, and your car breaks down, and your husband has lost his job, or some other really inconvenient thing, and you will be ready to tackle those things because you had done it while in a family of two.

Might be time to take the car to the deep recesses of a mountain and take a bat to it. Might be a good way to cleanse all the stress and worry away (ha)

Pray pray pray, ask, ask, ask, listen, listen, listen, and you and Austin will find a way to make it work.

I am proud that you and Austin work as a team and try to solve things.
JanB said…
Yes, these trials do come in large groups, don't they? They are the weeds that inflict and torment us. But every day is a new day.

And all of your exercise is not wasted. One day without is fine. Just start again tomorrow.

How did Austin hurt his back and his mouth?

Hope you both have a happier week, starting right now!

Popular posts from this blog

Apple Taste Test 2013

Anxiety

Untitled