Showing posts from 2013

Apple Taste Test 2013

Several years ago Austin and I bought several kinds of gummy bears in an attempt to discover which gummy bears were the best. We rated them in different categories, and it was a lot of fun. I’ve been wanting to do something like that again. And then this weekend, the perfect opportunity presented itself.

We were at Sprouts shopping, and they had a wide assortment of apples on sale for $0.88/lb. This was too good to pass up. So I went crazy and bought 14 varieties of apples. Most we only bought 1 or 2 apples, but some we bought more. (We bought 10 Ambrosia apples because they’re awesome and they’re not widely available.)

I wanted this to be the ultimate apple taste test. So, today we cut up and prepared the apples. We put them on paper plates and divided them up and labeled them. In retrospect, I wish we had taken pictures of the whole process. (Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda.) We then decided on categories; we rated the apples on Overall Taste, Juiciness, Sweetness, Tartness, and Hardness (…

On the eve of my husband's graduation

After many, many long years and late nights, Austin is finally graduating from college. I almost can't believe it. We've been waiting for this day for so long. I can't believe it's finally here! The last several years have been very difficult for all of us. Austin has had one delay after another on his road to graduation.

Prior to his mission, Austin attended one year of college at Southern Virginia University. This was from 2000 to 2001. He got excellent grades. Then he went on his mission from 2001 to 2003. At the beginning of 2004, he moved to Utah to go to school (and to date the girl he wrote on his, it wasn't me.) He didn't get into BYU, but he did get into what was UVSC at the time. Unfortunately, UVSC did not accept his college credits from SVU. So that was a year academically wasted (not a waste in that he had great life experiences and met great people whom he is still friends with to this day).

He attended two semesters at UVSC. We met…


I meant to post an update after Sunday's very depressing post. I'm actually doing okay. I wasn't at that moment, obvs. I was in the midst of an anxiety attack that day. Anxiety attacks suck. I have a lot on my plate right now, which leads to stress. Stress plus my genetically-prone-to anxiety-self = breakdown and anxiety attacks. I don't want people to think that I'm feeling like that all the time. I'm not. In general, I'm doing very well. I am happy and content a lot of the time. I have an awesome husband and wonderfully supportive friends. I just happen to be dealing with a lot of stress right now. Stress that will hopefully decrease come April when Austin finally, finally graduates.

I just snapped on Sunday because I became overwhelmed with everything. My house was extremely messy, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at Austin. I threw things. I hide in my room like an ashamed child. I cried, I vented by writing the depressive post, and …


I am tired. So very tired. I cannot handle the tedium of life. The inescapableness of it all. Every day. The same thing, the same drudgery, the same trying to keep to get it together. It's just too much. Too MUCH. Cannot handle it. The weight, the pressure. I have snapped. Lost it. Yelling for a cathartic release. Fear. Pressure. Too much. Too much. TOO MUCH! Cannot take it anymore. I cry because I can't do it anymore. Cannot do it. Make it stop! Give my life order. Give my life sustainability. I fail at life. I am a failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. A failure. Empty tears. Empty life. Blinking cursor. Broken. I am broken. Empty and broken. Responsible for everything and nothing. The end no periods nothing. gone. broken. help?

Tracie's Journal #2

Today's post, again randomly selected, is from my sophomore year of high school. This one doesn't really have deep significance, as you will soon see: (originally spelling and punctuation preserved)

Journal #18 10/19/99

"You drive me crazy---up all night."

Uggh! I feel so freakin' ugly today. I look it too. (Double Uggh!) I am TI-RED! Ooo Baby. Chemistry is the evil villain that is going to stop me from getting a scholarship. There is no way I can get an A. I'm beggin' for a B+. (or higher with a lot of hope) Why in the world did I take Honors Chemistry? I don't understand chemistry in the least. The highest I've managed to get on a test is a B+. 'Nuff 'bout chemistry. I feel loopy today. I'm not normal. I want to go galloping through the meadows garden. And froliking through fields, walking by the way, leaping over the land, jumping over the jalopies, and other stuff like that. Except I can't because I'm in class and I am WAY …

Age Game

I participated in one of those survey things on Facebook. Since FB doesn't really have the greatest long-term storage capacity, I thought I'd post it here:

Amanda Jones Goodman gave me the age of 16.

At age 16, I was

Dating: (i didn't date in high school other than to go to girls' choice dances.) One month after turning 16, I went on my first date. His name was Jake, he was a senior, and I was smitten. He treated me kindly. It was a double date for the spring fling. A friend of mine asked my older brother to be her date. I remember we went to a park to take pictures. And then I don't remember what we did. Pool? Mini golf? I just remember being nervous and so happy Jake was so nice to me. And that having my brother with me was kind of cool.

Living: with my parents in Orem

Driving: my mom's Tracker (when she let me)

Working: I was working at 5 Buck Pizza, which was my first official job. I rolled dough, answered phones, made pizza, and tried to keep piz…

10 Reasons I Love Bountiful Baskets

Austin and I have been participating in Bountiful Baskets, a produce co-op, for about a year now. We have loved participating in it, and here's 10 reasons why:

It's affordable. It's $15 for a full basket (we split with another family, making our cost per week for the basket $7.50). The amount in the basket varies week to week, but it's still more affordable than grocery store prices. I don't have to decide upon a menu before I go grocery shopping. The produce is picked for me. I then plan my menu around that produce. This saves me a lot of time. Since our meals are planned around fruits and vegetables, we are eating more fruits and vegetables, which is healthier.We eat in season. Eating in season is better for your pocketbook and for the environment. We eat a larger variety of fruits and vegetables. Things I have tried that I either had never tried before or would never buy on my own before Bountiful Baskets: sunchokes, persimmons, acorn squash, spaghetti squash, di…

Worry Wart

I missed last week. Dang it. I plan to post twice this week to make up for last week. I was going to write about how I almost deleted my last post. It was open and honest and raw. And I felt exposed and stupid for writing it. So I was going to delete it. But then I realized that I was only wanting to delete it because of other people. I need to be able to say what I need to say right now. For healing purposes and for the purposes of getting used to writing on a regular basis. I need this catharsis. And also, being a writer means sometimes saying things other people don't want to know/read. These feelings kept me from writing last week.

But I'm now moving forward. Onward and upward as they say.

I wanted to write today about my paranoia and anxiety that I deal with on a regular basis. This shows up in a lot of ways. I worry about things to a degree that it interferes with my daily life. I am constantly second guessing myself. I am constantly examining other people's words to…

Tracie's Journal #1

I'm starting a new blog series called "Tracie's Journal." My sophomore and senior year of high school I was required to write in a journal for my honor's and AP English classes. I'm really grateful for this because I am a terrible journaler. Because of this requirement, I have dozens of entries into my thoughts as a teenager. I will be randomly selecting an entry from these journals to post on this here blog. I plan to give commentary on the posts, especially the ones in which important things are written.

Here is Journal Entry #10 from my sophomore year of high school (originally spelling and punctuation preserved):

9/23/99 "I care for them all the same way, yet they always grow differently. Just like children."

Today I am not as big as a grouch as I was last time I wrote, I am, however, much, much, MUCH more tired than last time. I'm hungry.

I went to work for the second time last night. It was not fun. I stood the entire time. I wo…