Yay, we didn't die! Woot! I, for one, am personally THRILLED that I survived 2012. It was a hard year in many ways. I have a lot of plans and goals this year. And for the first time in a very long time, I am excited about the future.
Okay, pushing forward. I already went back to the previous paragraph to read and edit in an attempt to make it all sound wonderful and all that. (Edited to add: I did go back later and edit it. But doing it later makes it revision. :) )But I've decided I've got to stop doing that if I'm going to make this year's goal. I'm going to start writing again. Blogging is just one of the ways that I'm going to count this goal. I'm going to start blogging at least once a week. Recording my thoughts, feelings, ideas, trials, misfortunes, adventures, unadventures, and all that jazz. Should be great fun for everyone. I also am going to participate in NaNoWriMo this year for the first time ever. To prepare for this, I am going to write one short story a month until November.
Part of being able to accomplish this writing goal of mine is letting go of perfection. I am an editor by profession. This makes it extraordinarily difficult to actually write anything. I have no sooner written a word down before my inner critic/editor goes MUST PROOFREAD, FIX, NOW!!! And you know what happens? I never actually write/post anything because I'm way too busy being hypercritical about everything.
SO no more. Goodbye critical self. Hello creativity. Another thing I'm letting go is pretending to be somebody I'm not. For too long I have tried to not offend anyone and have let the potential (most likely imaginary) readers of this here blog dictate what I say and how I say it. No more. I cannot take it a single second longer. This is MY space. I guess I have finally decided that I am okay with losing friends if need be. I cannot please everyone all the time. Why have I driven myself crazy all my life trying to have everyone like me?? It's impossible to have everyone like me. I know this, but I sure as hell have tried. And I don't know why I have cared so much either. Blogs have been in decline in some time. Nobody even reads my blog anymore, so I'm reclaiming it. This is MY precious. A place to be myself and to unleash the thoughts of a person who has been silenced for far too long.
I know who I am. People can take me as I am or...well I guess they can refuse to do so. Their loss really because I'm pretty freaking awesome. You didn't know that? Well, I am. I am going to prove that by letting me people know what I think.
The last year or so I have spent countless hours reading other people's thoughts, stories, opinions, and ideas. All with saying nary a word about mine. In written form that is. I talk people's ears if they let me in person. Am I right, my in-real-life friends? It's a darn good thing that much of what I have to say is interesting. (winky face) So, all of this has to do with becoming an authentic person. I have been absolutely MISERABLE this last year pretending to be someone other than who I really am. I am going to let my freak flag fly and see what happens. Come what may.
So other themes for the year besides letting go of PERFECTION, and becoming AUTHENTIC, and unleashing CREATIVITY is to create order in my life. I have come up with ideas and plans to help me enjoy my life this year. One is creating and maintaining a schedule. I've already come up with a plan for how to keep my house out of chaos. (No, Mom, it's probably not going to be to your standards of cleanliness, but it will be at least liveable.) I had an epiphany the other day that the reason my house has been a disaster this last year (besides the craziness that is my life) is because of my desire to be perfect. I'll explain. My whole life I've lived a life of all or nothing. My house is either spotless or a disaster. I either work out every day or not at all. Etc., etc., ad nauseum. Well, that's gotta stop. It is futile to pretend that my house will maintain spotlessness. However, disaster level doesn't work either. So I'm going to quit believing that a spotless house is the goal. Liveable is the goal. I'm going to try to keep the house clean without worrying that everything is clean all the time.
The order idea also means that I am going to this year get back on a normal human sleep schedule. I know that I will have many setbacks in this goal since I've become quite used to my disjointed and unhealthy lifestyle. But I will do it. The Internet as my witness. I also will start using routines with Morgan. It'll make his life better and mine.
I am also going to schedule time in my life for exercise. I have a goal to lose 20 pounds by the end of the April. To do this, I will need to lose 1-2 lbs a week, which is totally doable. I need to lose more like 50-70 to be at my "optimum" weight, but I'm starting with 20 pounds to get back down to my prepregnancy weight. (Yes, I never lost my pregnancy weight. I'm far from the first.) I actually have the motivation to do it this year because I can't accomplish my other huge goal of this year without it. I'd say more but I'm always careful not to reveal too much of my personal life on here because I work and so I need to keep some things to myself. Most of my IRL family and friends know what I'm talking about anyway. Anyway, I am really, really excited about my plans for this year.
I am also really excited that AUSTIN IS GRADUATING IN APRIL!!!!! Yes, that deserves caps and multiple exclamation marks. It's really that good of news. Austin being in school has been absolute hell. Really it has. I cannot wait until he graduates. I know this will mean a lot of big changes for our family. And we are THRILLED.
Other big plans for the year: Going to Hawaii to visit our awesome friends and going to Houston to visit Austin's awesome family. I'd love if we could squeeze a trip to California in there as well. We'll see what happens.
I also want to start having game nights with my family and friends this year. I love playing games and spending time with my family and friends. So I'm going to start hosting them. I think once a month. (Alternating between family and friends)
So to sum up, my goals for the year:
1. Let go of perfection
2. Unleash creativity
3. Become authentic
4. Create order out of chaos (and its corollary: Create health for self)
5. Have fun with family and friends :)
I think this is the fewest number of goals I have set ever. I usually have lists and lists of them. And usually never accomplish them. I really like the idea of these themes to remind me of what I want from this year. Most of them overlap with the other. Really excited for 2013. It's going to kick 2012's ass.